My Carbon Footprint is Bigger than Your Carbon Footprint
What the devil is all this talk about CO2 and global (select one: warming, cooling, other)? People are not capable of controlling the universe or even the planet. They can, however, use fear to control the people living on it.
Well, I’ve got news for anyone that thinks that they’re going to save the world by reducing their carbon footprint. You’re wrong. But you won’t listen to reason on the subject. So…when I catch you reducing yours.. I’m increasing mine.
While you’re busy starving plants of their lifeblood.. don’t worry. I’ll be out there giving them all the CO2 they can handle. It’s OK, no need to thank me.
While you’re packing your groceries home in those silly little “green tote bags”, I’m saying double-wrap each item in plastic before you put it in the paper bag.
The grill gets fired up with fresh coals everyday.. whether I cook out or not. I don’t walk my dogs.. I take them for a ride. We use real light bulbs and set the thermostat too high in the winter, too low in the summer.
I start up all three of our gas guzzling vehicles and let them run for about a half hour while deciding which one to take on yet another unnecessary trip. Nothing’s worse than driving around in an SUV that’s too hot or too cold.
I found a recipe for making CO2 with vinegar and backing soda. Hmmm… I just may have found a new use for that kiddie pool! Yup, go ahead and pack 5 of your buddies into that little hybrid thing you call a car and commute to work. I’ll just cook up more ways to spew CO2 into the air.
You go right ahead. Be miserable and let those behind the junk scientific theory of man-made climate change guide your life and limit your freedom. I’ll be doing everything I can to take up your slack and see to it that you’re miserable green lifestyle sacrifices serve no purpose.
